You know, as I sit here stewing, I’m beginning to find humor in the situation. The world has some pretty shady people in it. I already knew that. But, with the struggles of fighting an up hill battle at work because of the time missed with the health of my little guy, I’m beginning to really see that the pretty shady people will tell you how shady they are. It’s the one’s that hide behind acts of innocence or purity that you really have to watch out for.
All of that to say shady people are jerks and you don’t have to have them in your life. They are weeds that only serve to slowly suffocate the air you breathe.
I’ve realized that the last two years I’ve pulled out a lot of weeds in my life. Some were pretty conspicuous others not so much. Some weeds had begun to wrap around my foundation, crippling it – or at least beginning to. Others looked more like dandelions, so pretty and fun. And guys, I was tired. I was tired of these weeds, of these fake arse people in my life. One day I bought an axe and I just began chopping. Gave myself brownie points for that.
Look, I’m not perfect. I’m the most unperfect perfect person on the planet. I’ve got my quirks – like my temper, my impatience and my mouth. I’ve rubbed people the wrong way. I’ve wronged people. I’ve made mistakes. But, I don’t believe I’m a weed. As much as I talk crap about myself I believe I have a good heart. I love to love. I love to serve. I love to make a difference. If I don’t like you I’ll tell you. If I have a problem with you, you’ll know. I also understand that sometimes you just have to let people go. I’ve had to learn that the hard way.
Sometimes we think we have to continue on with the bad relationships we have in our life. Sometimes we think we are obligated. Sometimes we don’t want to hurt the other person. Sometimes we fear they’ll hurt themselves. Sometimes we just feel stuck. But guess what? You CAN give yourself permission to move on from those relationships. You are never obligated to be in a relationship that is detrimental to you or the other person. This includes marriage. And look, I’m not advocating divorce. I love marriage. I love being married. It is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. He’s my best friend. I’m simply saying if a marriage is hurtful to one or more of the parties involved GTFO.
Think of our lives essentially as a garden. We go through our life seeding and watering and growing. Sometimes we will transplant beautiful and magnificent plants in our garden. Some plants are vibrant in color, some are small, some are sturdy. Some plants are not so pretty to look at but balances the garden to all of its majestic wonder. If we allow weeds to grow in our garden it begins to suffocate every plant it can get its nastiness on. If you allow the weeds to grow you go from a once beautiful garden to the empty lot across my house. And let me tell you, it ain’t pretty.
That’s what a toxic relationship does. It turns your beautiful heart to a stump. It turns your smiling eyes dull. Your belly laugh becomes hallow. When you have stuff like this happen you just gotta pull out the weeds. That relationship isn’t worth having. You don’t want to be in any relationship (including platonic ones) that the other person doesn’t give back, doesn’t try, doesn’t reciprocate. You don’t want to be in a relationship where there is abuse, it’s always negative, you feel stuck, there isn’t growth. Why would you want to be!?
If you want a real and authentic relationship you have every right to have it! So, dear friends, I implore you today, to go to Target, buy one of those pads you can put on the ground while gardening for your knees, and pull some bloody weeds out! You deserve a friend who cheers you on not silently discourages you. You deserve a significant other who strengthens your weakness not continues to weaken you. You deserve a family member who helps you build roots not cuts your tree for firewood.
Today, I’m saying this to you, weed. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for controlling me. Thank you for laughing at my fall. Thank you for laughing at my faith. Thank you for not believing in me. Thank you for not loving me. Thank you for causing darkness. Thank you for your manipulation. Thank you for all of the bad you’ve caused in my life because you taught me how to find those who encourage me and are happy to hold me up. Helped me to find those who would pray for me and cheer me on. Found those who loved me for me and brightened every corner of darkness. You taught me to find people who could restore my heart and help fix my wings. And those are the people I am truly thankful for. xoxo