I’d like to think I’m a good person, most days. I like to lend a helping hand. I like to give support. I like to help anyone in need to the best of my ability. And that’s what happened even when I knew I shouldn’t have. Someone I once knew needed help and I helped. But it also was a sacrifice. It cost me my heart. And now I need to find a way to take it back.

The hardest thing is I don’t want to be callous. I don’t want to hurt someone. I want this person to be ok. I want this person to be able to grow. I want this person to be able to be the best version of themselves. And I’m afraid by taking my heart back that I might stunt that growth. Even marginally. Because, every time I take it back I always do.

But, alas, I need to do what’s best for me. And so I think this needs to be said. xoxo

I Knew It Would Happen

I knew it would happen again
My heart
My mind
Raging war against each other with the
Wanting
Longing
Remembering all that we had shared and
Forgetting
Mistakes
That we both made to realize this was it
 x
I knew it would happen so I was
Afraid
Scared
To make the call you needed for
Support
Comfort
Though now I can’t seem to stop
Again
Repeating
To break you when you need me the most
x
I knew it would happen with us
Talking
Laughing
In a rhythm like it was before no matter the
Circumstances
Consciousness
Begging me to stop to remember all the
Dishonesty
Heartbreak
That our relationship was grounded on
x
I knew it would happen and what I need is
Goodbye
Old friend
This is the end of what I can offer I must
Let go
Move on
So we both can be happy and grow to be
Better people
With love
The versions we were destined to be