Sometimes I forget that as an adult the right thing to do is use my words to express how I feel. As an introvert I’m normally quieter around crowds. I become a lot more me around people who I am comfortable with but usually that is a small group of people. Even still, I need to remember the power of words.
Use see, I mostly live in a black and white world. What this means is:
It’s all or nothing.
There’s a right and a wrong.
There’s a yes or a no.
There’s a happy or sad.
There’s push or pull.
I think you’re getting the picture here. For me, there isn’t much of a gray area. For me gray always meant:
Not meaning what you say.
Just giving half of yourself.
There are no clear rules.
Again, you get the picture. I’m a rules kind of girl. You know, like No is definitely a complete sentence. Treat people the way they wanted to be treated. When you say you love someone you mean it. Rules. Standards in my life that keep things controlled. The only way that I know how to function because that is the way my brain works.
And then, there are words.
As a blogger I know words don’t apply in the black and white. Heck, they don’t always land in the gray either. Words can be as black as night, as vibrant as yellow, as lonely as blue, as angry as red. Words can be as refreshing as turquoise, as hard as ivory, as rosy as amaranth*, and as hot as blazing bonfire*.
With all the different words you can use to describe one’s feelings its no wonder I have learned that communication is integral in color shading your life. In art shading is to show depth perception in an artist’s work. It requires a bit of finesse. But, when the shading is complete the masterpiece is eye opening. The same can be said with words.
It’s like when people say women hear one thing and men hear another. Why is that? Because it’s true! You wouldn’t believe how many times my husband and I had heated conversations about what was said and what we heard. The color shading in our words are so impactful and we, as humans, need to take heart.
We really need to learn to color shade our conversations. I mean does, “Because I said so,” really work anymore? Couldn’t it be handled with, “I don’t like it because it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
We really need to learn to color shade our non-conversations too. Like for instance, when my husband and I are upset at each other and he’s becoming angry he just walks away. Instead of using his words to say, “I’m pissed off let’s table this right now,” he lights a fire under me because I feel disrespected. I’m sure I give him that same feeling when I do it.
So, here’s a challenge for you. Say what you mean – nicely though! If you’re feeling down and you just can’t deal, say that. Tell the person what you want, or need. Even if it is space. I think it’s about time we color shade to bring up instead of bring down. It’s time we color shade to mend instead of break. Even if we don’t know the colors to use, even if we like black and white, sometimes even the gray goes a long way. xoxo
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