Today after a fun afternoon in the sun the day before I got up a little late. Subsequently I left home a few minutes later than I needed. The road that I live on, unfortunately, is a pretty busy road. It doesn’t help that the mornings are even busier as parents are taking their children to school or day care, both which sit mere walking distance to my apartment. I was already a bit fussy because of my tardiness that after going through three cycles at the stop light to get on the main road I decided to go straight instead of left when the 4th green light flashed my way.
I had sat at that red light thinking of the best way to beat this traffic and get to my destination on time. Straight. I knew the way through those back roads because I had to pick up a friend once on one of those streets.
It wasn’t a surprise when I crossed that road, heading through a route that was not my norm, that there was some anxiety that came with this change. A creature of habit, I rarely do ordinary, daily things different. My routine to get ready in the morning is the same. I take my lunch during the same time frame every day. My nightly routine as I head to bed is the same. The routine motions give me comfort. It makes me feel a little in control of a life that is oft-times chaotic.
Just breathe, I told myself. You know the way. As I crossed that main road I could taste the bitterness of nausea that often comes with a panic attack. I got this. I gripped the steering wheel and made my way over the speed bumps, around the windy roads, finding my way to the highway needed to get to where I was going.
When I got to my destination I was relieved to have been four minutes early. Had I waited to push myself through the long line of buses and cars off of 28th, I’d most likely still be on my way. I was also relieved because I did something out of the ordinary and didn’t break or crumble for it.
Often times in life we like to stay with the familiar. We have the same hair dresser. Go to the same Starbucks. Shop at the same grocery store. We often don’t want to make a change because it will mess with our life continuance. Everything we see as steady in life. Well, today, I realized it’s okay to have things be different every now and then. Did it mess with my anxiety? Sure, but lets face it, everything seems to mess with my anxiety. But, life is an adventure and throwing curve balls will probably help me live a little. It’ll also help me to realize that getting dirt on my hands from falling is okay.
My goal this month is to do things out of my ordinary. Like playing co-ed softball. I’ve played softball on youth outings before but never for a team. Or, in a few days zip lining. This one takes me completely out of my comfort zone but my mind is set to jump. Or taking a new route to a familiar destination. Or taking 13 preschoolers outside to play. Changes.
Here’s the quote of the day:
Everything begins from the mind, including change. So, if you want to alter your life, you have to start with your mindset. – Alexi Weaver
I’m looking to take a different route, to do something life altering, will you join me? xoxo