I’ve shared a few times of my battle with depression. The other day I got an eye opener on how I am when I am depressed. You see, my husband and I watch The Walking Dead. We are fanatics of TWD. I was a huge zombie fan before TWD so naturally I just had to. Don’t ask me why. There is something about vampires and zombies that keeps me coming back for more.
Anyway, my husband and I choose not to have cable. So, we are a season behind on most of our shows because we watch them on Netflix. The other night, we watched the episode of TWD where Beth and Tyreese have passed and their loved ones grieve. They show three characters who were closely tied to them enter into a depressive state. As the show walks through the feelings of the characters I could easily relate and began to tear because those emotions those characters felt, were real to me. I turned to my husband and asked, “Am I like that when I become depressed?” You could see the hurt in his eyes when he said yes.
I’ve talked about how it feels to be depressed. How lonely and utterly helpless someone who is depressed could feel. I shared about what we need our loved ones to understand and do. I never really took the time to understand how depression can affect those who have loved ones that are depressed. For the first time, even if it was through a tv show, I saw through the eyes of the other side. And it scared me.
To the loved ones who have had to be a part of the life of someone with anxiety and depression, we appreciate you. Maybe you aren’t told it enough. Maybe you aren’t ever told it. I don’t think I’ve ever told my husband how grateful I am that he has stood by my side all these years as I have fought with anxiety and depression. I don’t think I have ever told him how humbled I am to see him hold my hand every year as the anxiety becomes more and more aggressive. I don’t think I have ever told him that I appreciate him not fighting or giving up on me as a bout of depression takes hold and I am stuck in bed crying because there is nothing else I can do. To you my darling Jeremy, thank you. Thank you for the years of commitment and support. I don’t know how you’ve done it. How you’ve handled all those emotions and not have taken it out on me for having anxiety and depression.
Appreciate your loved ones today who have stood by your side and walk the darkness of anxiety and depression with you. As much as we need to be loved and cherished during our bouts, our loved ones need to be appreciated to love us during those bouts. My hat is tipped off to you dear loved one who supports the anxiously depressed with love, kindness, patience and understanding. May you be blessed.
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