Happy August 1st.
The year has gone by in a flash. There has been so much that has happened this year. Birthdays, anniversaries, births. Adventures, endings, growth.
Last month I made a goal to complete at least a fifth of my project. This project only started this year but I have dreamt about doing it for years. Not necessarily the details but the actions. I never thought I could do it. I never thought I was good enough. I had people surround me encouraging me but fear always gripped my hands too tight.
This project has been on my bucket list for some time. I’m not sure what exactly happened that made me want to do it. That pushed me over the edge of safety to take flight. Maybe it was the chance of a new start in January that changed my mind? Or the crazy stalker in February getting the best of me that changed my mind? Or possibly, maybe it was a relapse in judgement in March that changed my mind? Whatever it was the project was lit on fire.
Last month I promised myself this was a go and I needed to get on it. And so I did.
A fifth of the project was a little too much for me in July. I didn’t reach it. I got half way there. I was bummed this weekend because I really wanted to hit my goal. I, like usual, was hard on myself. And then I realized that Zig Ziglar was right: What you get by achieving your goal is not as important as what you become by achieving your goal.
My project is dear to my heart. It is everything I am. It is putting myself out there in a way that I have never done before. It is going out of my comfort zone and making my dreams come true. And while I didn’t hit my mark, while I didn’t have the count, while I let my life get the best of me, there is one thing I know: I’ve become keenly aware of who I am and what I want.
Just because I didn’t finish my goal doesn’t mean I failed. I grew. What can be more magical than personal growth? Especially when you least expect it. I hold no apology for my unfinished work. My unfinished work made me face Goliaths of my past. My 10k instead of 20k count made me ward off demons. My half met goal made me realize I am a fighter. My passion to finish this was awakened just by what I did accomplish. And I could never apologize for that.
You see, I once heard that a river cuts through a rock not because of its power but because of its persistence. Just because I didn’t finish my goal doesn’t mean I won’t get to the finish line. It only means that I have the opportunity to reevaluate the original goal and recreate a new goal that better fits my lifestyle. It will be then that I will begin to see a pattern in the rock I am trying to cut through. It will be then that I can visualize the canyon take shape. It will be then that I will dream of standing on the cliff of the canyon looking down wowed by the fact that I got it done.
There will always be things in life that it always seems impossible to accomplish until it’s done. Nothing is impossible. I know this because I’m getting it done. xoxo