Society sets a standard that if you aren’t busy you aren’t successful. If you aren’t going after it you aren’t “the man.” I never really thought I lived my life with that mentality. But, after staying home all week last week doing absolutely nothing but resting, I’ve realized deep down in my subconscious I do.
I blame this on my mom. I take after my mom in a lot of ways. I’m a grunt worker – well not really. But, my work is who I am. I don’t sit idle very often. I need to stay busy to keep the voices in my head to remain content. I don’t know the meaning of rest. My mom is like that. Thanks to her genes I always have to be doing something, always finding ways to engage my mind and use my hands. Until last week.
I’m not sure if the fever last week Sunday was just something that was lingering or was an onset of whatever the heck is going around. When it hit during lunch I knew I needed to get home and rest if I was gonna make it to work the following day. When I got home, with a tarty taste of stubbornness, I forced my body to rest. And I rested the following day. And the day after. For a full week. Fevers, vertigo, nausea all forced me to hibernate from the world I so love. And other than the frog voice I now sport I realized I needed the rest.
You see, too often we push, push, push ourselves to keep going. We make excuses like, “I can rest later.” Or, “I won’t have time to do it then.” And while this isn’t really an excuse, my favorite is, “I can sleep when I’m dead.” We always need to prove to someone (usually ourselves) that we can do better. Be better. Think better. Speak better. Laugh better. Love better. Don’t get me wrong, wanting to better yourself is commendable, admirable, even chivalrous. But, at what expense? I was once told that you can’t pour from an empty cup. And they were right, you can’t. Sure, you can try but you get nothing in return.
The truth is this world suffers from Destination Addiction. Dr Robert Holden defines Destination Addiction as the idea that the future is where success is, happiness is, and heaven is. Each passing moment is merely a ticket to get to the future. Living in the “not now,” being psychologically absent, and disregarding everything we have. Destination Addiction is a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is somewhere else. We suffer, literally, from the pursuit of happiness. We are always on the run, on the move, and on the go. Our goal is not to enjoy the day, it is to get through the day. We have always to get to somewhere else first before we can relax and before we can savor the moment.
Do you suffer with Destination Addiction? I do. And after the last week of being forced to rest I’d like to hope I’ve broken this addiction to enjoy the now. To understand that in order to be happy I need to take care of me – spiritually, physically and mentally. I want to be able to enjoy my family and friends and be thankful for what I have and don’t have in my life. I want to be able to enjoy each moment, every breath, every laugh, every smile. And I know that all of that is attainable. See, life is about balance – we don’t always have to get things done. You aren’t responsible to fix everything that seems broken around you. Allow yourself time to rest, to heal, to be made new. Allow yourself the pleasure of the sound of rain falling or of the smell of grass clippings. Allow yourself the time to build on friendships old and new. Allow yourself to live in the moment giving everything you are as if it is your last. But, most importantly allow yourself the rest it needs to do so.
Think of it this way, when we do not allow ourselves time to rest cracks develop that threaten to challenge us which makes us physically, spiritually, and emotionally fragile. Sometimes, sometimes the most productive thing you can do for the day is to relax. xoxo