The saying I think is often over used.

When God closes a door He opens a window.

This saying has always been one that I hold to my heart when I’ve longed for something that wasn’t in God’s plan. Examples of course would be birthing a child of my own, opening up Hummingbird House, moving to Texas or Boston.

The saying simply implies that even when things aren’t going the way we had planned that doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have a plan of His own to fulfill the desires of our hearts. Examples of course would be fostering children I call my own, opening up Vancouver Angels, finding roots in Vancouver, WA.

No matter what happens in life, no matter the doors that are closed – or even slammed shut – God looks at that and says, “I’ve got this. Do you trust me?”

My 2019 hasn’t panned out to be as I had planned. I mean I had great plans. Big plans. Plans that would fulfill the desires of my heart. And then, one by one, the doors have closed. I’ve heard the deadbolt lock. I’ve seen the finalization of my plans being blown to smithereens. The last few months I’ve put on a happy face knowing in my heart that God knows exactly where I need to be and when I need to be there. He doesn’t make mistakes so I know the closed opportunities are closed for a reason. But, the hardest closures are the ones where your heart breaks.

Today I sat at my kitchen table waiting for the SW to call and my heart broke. The reality finally hit. The door was closed and no matter what happened, how it happened, why it happened God was leading me somewhere else. And I cried. Cried because the door that was closed had been the lifeline I needed to get back to Him. It had been the lighthouse that shone for Jeremy and me to land safely on shore. In the blink of an eye the door closed and God said, “Do you trust me?”

There is an old song from the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir and it’s been the song of the day:

When in my dark hour
You restored my weary soul
You led me to that resting place and made me whole
So I cannot question
Though stormy billows roll
My faith is secure, safe is my trust in You alone

Still I will trust You
Still I will follow
Still I will listen
To Your every calling
While the storm, rages on
And I can’t find my way
Still I will trust You Lord

Closure: to gain a sense of resolution. I’m still crying. I’m still wondering what God has in store. But, one thing I do know, even with the doors firmly closing, I trust Him. That’s the only thing that matters. I don’t know where the road leads. I don’t know anything. I just know still I will trust.

Today, if the world is uncertain and the doors have closed on you know that God’s plan is perfect. You may not like doors and windows closing. You may not like hearing the hatches locking securely in front of you. You may be uncomfortable trying the other door. But know, the doors He’s closed aren’t failures or problems, instead, they are blessings in disguise. I know that because whenever He has closed these types of doors it has only strengthened my faith and psyche.

For the love of self I have learned letting go and letting God is a good enough resolution to keep going forward. xoxo