Today is the last day of my vacation and there’s anxiety in the air. Anxiety over returning to work. Anxiety over ending a week that I really needed. Anxiety over thinking how my dogs will last without their mama being home. (Oh yes, that is a real thought.)
This just in, I actually – well for the most part – took a vacation. I answered minimal emails, text messages and phone calls, deferring them to my boss or fellow managers. I was actually able to take the week to be. For a long time I haven’t been able to do that. This week I spent a lot of my time alone. Just re-syncing my brain so I’m maybe not too uptight? You know, don’t want to be a micromanager or a horrible person and all so better to woosa and cleanse my inner manager then to be called such farfetched adjectives.
I opened my vacation being able to spend a few hours with my nieces and nephews. RB3, Rosie, RyRy, and Hoku, you guys make my life complete. Seeing you smile, receiving your hugs, and the endless photos we take (in the span of maybe three or four hours the five of us took 104 pictures from my phone alone) makes my heart swell beyond measure. The joy I feel having y’all in my life helps me take a step every day, to fall forward, to not give up, and to push on. Aunty loves you all so very much.
I got to sleep in. I never sleep in. Like ever. My husband has to work early so he gets up at 430a. Which means, being the light sleeper that I am, awaken when he kisses me goodbye ten minutes later. On Sunday, he was off so I received the joy of not having him depart from our bed so soon. Which meant, when my alarm for church went off at 6a, I got up, went to the ladies room, then snuggled back under the covers with him until what I told myself would be for, at most, another half hour. Well, try 3 hours later.
And how did I finish my end of my vacation? I continued to work on the next chapter in my life. A long lost friend called me and I was able to talk to them today. It has been a while since I talked to them, by choice. It was nice to clear the air and the bad emotions to dissipate. From the conversation we had I realized the saying that goes something like “we shouldn’t wait for the perfect moment, we should take the moment and make it perfect” makes perfect sense. You see, the conversation wasn’t ideal, but it was needed. It wasn’t the perfect moment in a sense where we are buddy buddies now and we will be inseparable. Rather, it was a moment in time that our stars aligned, we finally saw eye to eye, and we both can move pass the issues and onto the lives we were meant to live. I think my vacation was approved for that very moment in time.
As much as I don’t want to, I have realized that there comes a time that we have to choose between turning the page and closing the book. So, today, I fall forward and close the door to my past. Today, I open a new door to my future, take a few deep breaths of the air, look at the healthier grass through that door, and step through the threshold of the start of the next chapter in my life. There is a season and reason to everything right? Well, here’s to my season of change. And with that, I bid adieu to rivers, hello beaches.
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