I finally watched The Longest Ride and one of the characters said that love requires sacrifice. The movie reminded me that there is so much in life, so many ups and downs, so many circumstances in our control and out of our control. Mostly, that movie reminded me of so much of my life. It talked about love and passion and sacrifice and honor.
My favorite way to describe love can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Perhaps using that definition I can easily see where the sacrifice comes in. I see the sacrifices that were made in order to have the life I have. Not a single moment do I regret because it has led me to where I am today. I wanted the rainbow so I put up with the rain. Love does require sacrifice, even suffering. Love also is nourished by giving and putting in just as much as the others involved. I do believe in that kind of love.
This isn’t where I wanted to go with this post so now y’all have to bear with me as I vent. Love requires sacrifice but listen, someone who is worthy of your love should never put you in a situation where you feel that you must sacrifice who you are. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your character, your self-worth, or your principles to be with them, to love them. That isn’t love. Love doesn’t give you ultimatums – its either “them or me.” You shouldn’t, ever, have to sacrifice your dreams, your friends, your passion to be with them. Love doesn’t get pissed off because you want them to apologize for being mean and lying. It’s amazing sometimes how someone can break your heart into ten million little pieces and you can’t hate them, even if that’s all you want. Instead, with all those little pieces you still love them. If that’s not sacrifice I don’t know what is.
Another tidbit for you, being unloving and unhappy also requires sacrifice. Sometimes love is a mask and you hold on to that masking hoping that if you fake it you’ll make it. But the only one who gets hurt is you because there is no love, there is no balance, there is no happiness to be sought when you play pretend. No love and happiness but a farce of the two requires you to give up your life for nothing. You lose everything because as you sacrificed everything to assume love you somehow lose yourself in the process. And when you find yourself, when you know who you are, what you want its too late because there isn’t going back. Don’t give yourself up in the name of love. Sure, there should be compromise. Sure, there should be giving of oneself. But, it goes both ways. Don’t lose who you are. It isn’t worth it.
Learn from my mistakes.
Now, I stand in a rubble trying to find the pieces of what was my heart. All I see is destruction. Fire burning everywhere because, I gave everything, never requiring something back, changing who I was to love. Now, I’m being asked to give what I want up again and I can’t. Is that so wrong, to want to be happy, to have hopes, and dreams, and goals? I stand in my rubble and know that the only thing that will define me now is how I rise after I have fallen. A phoenix becomes stronger each time they fall, and I do. I will rise out of these ashes, out of this despair, out of this destruction and soar. I have chosen.
Ho sacrificato abbastanza.
Non più cosa se.