It’s weird how this week was all about making connections. I’m an introvert so making connections with people isn’t so easy, nor do I prefer it. And yet there were so many I came across that connected with me on some personal level. It is almost as if the stars were aligning this week to force me to connect with other humans that I may grow? I don’t know.
I connected with new people in a group of woman who share a common idiosyncrasy. Here, in this safe room, we talked about what women usually talk about. Love and family. We talked about feelings that are human and fair given the circumstances. I walked into that room scared. I walked out feeling for the first time in 12 years my feelings were valid and not just mine. There were others out there like me. And while I shouldn’t be blissful of their plight, it elates my heart that someone understands.
I connected with a woman who does not share my predicament but understands the feelings that come with it. She wasn’t there to judge me. She found ways to make me laugh in the midst of pools of tears threatening to take the plunge. She made sense of many feelings that I had been struggling with the past few months. She provided a solution for my wellbeing and happiness.
A gentleman connected with my husband and I. Someone we didn’t seek out but was able tell us, “Hey, you know that its okay? You know that there is a solution?” He made us feel that for the first time in a long time things would become steady again. While this gentleman offers this solution in a somewhat long term fix, we have come to the conclusion it will be worth it in the end.
But the deepest connection? That connection happened today. It wasn’t a new connection per se. I consider her a friend. We got to have lunch together as a somewhat unannounced celebratory get together. She is a sweet but crazy girl who suffers the fate of one that I am so familiar with. Her story isn’t mine to tell. And while I cannot see the future, I cannot see her taking the same path as I, nor can I see her losing everything she is, I can say this: always guard your heart.
These connections I have made this week have allowed me to see how precious your heart can be. I may not be talking to her. Or me. I may be talking to someone else tonight. But, the message is the same. Guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. Charm does not allow you to be the treasure that you deserve. Your heart determines the course of your life. Don’t allow charm to deter that course, no matter how nice and fuzzy it makes you feel. And as you guard your heart, don’t be reckless with someone else’s. Find out what makes you truly happy. Remove the disillusions and the distractions and dig deep and know what your heart wants. Most importantly, don’t feel bad for wanting it.
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