I am not fond of living in an apartment. First, I don’t have my own yard where I feel comfortable letting my dogs run loose to get their exercise. Second, I am a huge fan of music and I always have to be cognizant on the volume of my speaker which has decided to sing along with me. But, mostly, I don’t have the privacy to sit on my back patio, open my blinds, or keep my door open without the anxiousness of a peeping neighbor – human or dog alike. And often times that stops me from being able to be connected with myself, with God, with life.
Today, however, I woke early enough to be able to be. Made myself a cup of green tea, sat on my patio watching Ash and Co. (the wild rabbits that grace the back yard) while Skimm‘ing my share of world news. I had a little bit of classical music playing in the background, my feet up, and the ability to pray without interruption. It was necessary for me to just be this morning because sometimes being alone and quiet with nothing in front of you is all you need to see the bigger picture of things.
I am an INFJ and because of that sometimes I just need to be able to get away. I need to adventure on my own to breathe. Sometimes people think I’m running, or I’m angry, or I’ve fallen into a depressive state again. What people don’t understand is I have begun to understand that when my batteries need to be recharged the best thing for me to do is just be. Just be one with nature. One with myself. One with God. I find a way to restore my sanity, to move past my guilt, and thrive.
When I allow myself to breath, to not question things, to not wonder of the what ifs, and believe that everything will work out, that is when I can let things go. So often we hold on to things thinking we will face things when we have the time to. Often we just avoid everything because it is easier that way. Sometimes, we say we face things and purposely push it so far back in our minds that the connection is lost and while we may be pretending like everything is okay it really isn’t. Put your hand on your heart and remember, you are still living and breathing and let it go.
Living in an apartment doesn’t allow me to have a lot of free quiet time. But, today, the little time I had was enough to rejuvenate my tired soul and became thankful for my day ahead. Now, as today starts I encourage you to get connected with your inner self. Find the depth of your beauty, the kind and beautiful soul that has been hiding behind the curtains. Find peace and forgive yourself from all the mistakes you’ve made. Let go of the fight and just be the best version of yourself you can be at the present moment. Don’t look behind you. Don’t look in front of you. Be present, be in the moment. Forget about the storm you are living. Just take things a step at a time, remember to breathe and take flight.
Be peaceful, be still, be happy, just listen and live for now. xoxo