Dreams can come true, can’t they?
As a little child before jumping into the pool, or the lake, or the ocean you would cautiously feel for the temperature of the water. You would make sure it was a comfortable feeling before you jumped in. Often times we never seem to take the plunge with faith because it can be down right bloody scary. I always think of Tantar the elephant in Tarzan when I am hesitant about trying something new, “Mom, are you sure this water’s sanitary?” Tipping my toes in tepid water as I feel for what is what.
There was a time where I huddled all my dreams into a bag and stored them away. I had so many excuses for those actions. There was no money. There was no time. What I’m doing now is more important than that. What my loved one is doing now is more important than that. I need to finish this one project before starting on that. I don’t know anything about that so how could I start something I know nothing about? These were always just excuses.
I never had a valid reason to hide my dreams away. The fact of the matter is, I was scared. Scared of the rejection. Scared of the change. Scared of something new. Scared of the impossibly possible. Scared of failing. Scared of trying and just being. Scared of the success it could come with.
I talked to my boss today about the writing I did this weekend. The most I have done in a really long time. She spoke about how proud she was and how much courage it took for me to jump out of my comfort zone and do something I love. She talked about the strength it takes to put myself out there. And, you know what? She’s right. It takes the courage of a lion to put yourself in a position where you become vulnerable. Writing, giving it all that I have, and putting my writing out there makes me vulnerable. Showing the world my writing, my inner thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, puts me in a position I rarely ever put myself in.
And I am enjoying every second of it.
I am not worried about what happened in my past that stopped me from chasing my dreams. There is a reason it is called yesterday. Yester means to denote a period of time prior to the present period. Everything that has happened yesterday was to get me to this present moment. To take the reigns of my life and be happy doing it. To have the courage to reach for my dreams, no matter how unattainable it appears to be. To jump with both feet in.
I am not looking to play it safe anymore. I am putting myself out there because something has to change. I’m tired of having to live pay check to pay check. I am tired of not being able to afford the warm and fuzzies that life has to offer. So, with my dream board posted, my pencil in hand, I’m standing over my doubts and shadows ready to own my now.
I heard someone say that life isn’t about finding a path. It’s about creating and carving one out for yourself. Look at me ma, I’m carving the wings out first.
Here comes my now. xoxo