I alluded to it on the last two posts but my husband and I are considering adoption. Two years ago we were well on our way – well, not really. We talked with agencies and was preparing for classes and a home visit. Then I found out I was pregnant. The adoption phase stopped dead in the water as we celebrated the growth of our son. When we lost Jackson we never thought about adoption again. Well, I didn’t.
It is a new year. A year to grow and heal and so we usher in 2017 with the excitement of this decision. The 2017 year has begun with piles of papers on my desk of research on grants, fundraising, and agencies galore for adoption. Embryo adoption. Open adoption. Closed adoption. Foster to adopt. This is what is in store for us in 2017. We want to share in the journey and I hope you enjoy reading the posts that are to come about this incredible season.
Crossing this bridge has been a been a long road. Not only because of what we had to endure with Jackson or these last few years. But because of what we are currently enduring. We are going through a current situation in our lives where very few people in our lives have been privy to. Before I get into the emotions of this, blanket prayers are always welcomed.
I wish I could lie to you and tell you there is no fears or worries about the path Jeremy and I are about to embark on. This journey is scary. It’s confusing. And overwhelming. I worry a lot about the fact that while I have helped raise my nephews and niece, my cousins and cared for other children, I may really suck at being a parent. I can take all the classes I can, read all the books in a library but none of it can actually prepare me to safeguard the life or lives of children. This fear hasn’t crippled me, nor will I allow it to, but the thought will always linger.
Has any of you gone through adoption? What were your experiences? Your feelings? Your emotions? Did you have self-doubt? Did your partner? How do you trust the fact that you are ready to love and cherish the child or children that come into your home?
The different avenues to take for adoption doesn’t help. I am well familiar with the feelings of foster care. My heart leads that way. I want to take siblings in that are stuck in the foster care program and just love them with every fiber in my heart. I want them to know that someone loves them, wants to protect them and keep them together, and that they are the most important little people in the world. Foster to Adopt. When we lived in Oregon that wasn’t an option. But moving eleven minutes north has changed that. Washington gives you the amazing possibility to do so.
My husband is open to any type of adoption. But, I know deep down he wants to adopt a baby. He wants to be the daddy that gets to watch his daughter take her first step or say her first word. He wants to be the daddy that gets to watch his son have a fountain go flying once his diaper is removed. He wants to be the daddy to cradle his child in his arms and watch the child fall in love with him making ridiculously insane noises.
We will probably do both. With grants and fundraising (I didn’t know any of those were a thing) I am definitely open in welcoming a little baby into our home. Has anyone done an adoption grant? Or created a fundraising page? What is the best way to create an adoption profile? I’ve seen both video and books. I probably won’t do a video because both the hubby and I are camera-shy. But, I have no idea how to create the book. Every book I come across online is amazing. It is so daunting.
I’ve dabbled in writing grants before, but adoption grants? There is even infertility grants. It’s pretty amazing was is available these days. I need to take the time to actually look more into it. A lot of it is just fear of rejection and the unknown. Or what the next steps are. Couldn’t there be a cookie cutter way to do all of this? I’m not a cookie cutter person but maybe this time I need to be?
So many questions but I do know this: this was what we were meant to do. And the odds could be against us, but that isn’t stopping us from love. xoxo
January 7, 2017 at 3:35 am
Have you talked to an ACTUAL Adoptee?? Or several, frankly, because no one’s story is the same. Because Adoptee’s are in possession of a truth and knowledge that most Adoptive (or possible) Parents ever consider, listen to or validate. (<—From a actual adoptee that finds this mind boggling. )
[After note in case tone isn't clear or there is some fear: I am also an adoptee who is not angry-anti-adopting and had a wonderful childhood with amazing parents as well as a great reunion with my Biological mother. I just like people to be aware, prepared and knowledgeable of ALL truths not just the ones they like to hear. ]
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January 7, 2017 at 5:48 am
My friends brother is an adoptee and before we told people we talked to him about it. How it felt being adopted or knowing he was. I was also a foster kid that my foster parents wanted to adopt but it took so long I aged out of the system.
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January 6, 2017 at 7:15 pm
Hi! Im new to this blogging scene and found your page while looking for fellow adoption bloggers. My husband and I are at the tail end of our international adoption. It is long and emotional but so worth it! Our fundraiser we did (which was pretty simple) was a garage sale. Our family and friends donated their items to sell and we kept the profit. We had two of them and raised about $1,000. It’s not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it’s something! What type of adoption you do is a decision between you and your partner. Pray, a lot. And also do your research. Everyone will have an
Opinion so make sure you do what you’re comfortable with.
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January 6, 2017 at 7:29 pm
Hi! Welcome to the world of blogging!
Thank you for the advise! We are going to do what we can to raise money and look forward to the entire journey – even the parts that scare us. I can see why you say everyone has their opinions and they are certainly entitled to it but Jeremy and I are secure in our decision to know this is for us not for them. Prayers will always be on the forefront. It’s what got us here so we can’t quit now. We will take your prayers too!
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January 4, 2017 at 6:12 pm
Hi Pearly, first off i totally appreciate this write up. It brought me to tears reading your journey knowing I wasnt alone too. I truly understand what your going through and you are absolutely right it’s never easy coming to the conclusion that you may never be able to carry or give birth to your own biological child. For many years my heart ached without anyone knowing what I was going through. But through God’s strength and His healing power I’ve built enough courage in me to rise up again to be all God intended me to be.
Both Dion & I had the opportunity to be foster parents & for me the experience was awesome! It felt great to feel responsible for 3 little beautiful kids, but they came with their set of minor issues (which you learn to get adjusted to) it was also awesome to love them & nurture them i enjoyed every moment. Within the course of a year and half we are now left with our little baby who is now 1years old as the other two transitioned back home with their family. We had the privilege to care for our baby at 2 days old. It was a joyous experience i’ll never forget we are now in the process of trying to adopt. It’s a challenge with the state and their laws, but we are hoping for the best. There are a ton of options out there and thats great just know if you foster you will get attached and it will become harder to let go when they reunify with their families. If i had the option to adopt instead of fostering I’d pick adopt just cause I dislike letting go of something I love so much. Anyway I wish you & Jeremy the best and will continue to pray for you on this new journey. We love you both very much. Take care & God bless! xoxo
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January 4, 2017 at 7:12 pm
Thank you Leish so much for sharing. That’s why jeremy wants to adopt because he knows on day one I will become attached and fostering is never a guarantee. We are definitely looking through all options. Thank you for all the prayers. We love and miss you both!
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January 4, 2017 at 4:51 pm
Praying for you friend! Let me know how I can help!
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January 4, 2017 at 5:00 pm
Just keep listening to my ramblings and walk me through my brain as I figure things out. 🤔👍🏽
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January 4, 2017 at 5:03 pm
I’m so good at that #signmeup
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