There is so much I want to say. But, how? How can I effectively articulate both a heart filled with love and a heart bleeding in anguish? How do I explain being happy and sad? How do I bring to comprehension my aching heart and my grounded mind? How?
By making a choice.
Besides God he his the center of my universe. The best thing that has ever happened to me. Some will not agree with my choice. Some will be hurt by my choice. But, the fact remains, it is my choice. xoxo
The Choice
Fear can make you choose
Though you don’t understand
Compromised with angst
A love unable to expand
I tried for transparency
Of person I’ve become
The truth would set me free
Though I knew the outcome
So now secretly I sit
Misrepresented
To avoid losing you
Without being discontented
Until it happens again
And I’m tugged at my heart
With my heart on my sleeves
That’s always the start
When it happens
I fight with my soul
For losing you
Is never my goal
I am who I am
But you’re the love of my life
My best friend and confidant
I love being your wife
So I bury my feelings
Until my heart calms
Conquering this life
Your love a balm
Fear makes a choice
But the decision is mine
This is our life
I’ll choose you every time
This, however, does need to be made clear, ti amo J.
I seriously hate writing about me. What do you tell people? The customary who I am, where I'm from? Those are all well and fine but gets kinda redundant, doesn't it?
If you want to know me, come read a long. I'm an open book - or at least try to be.
I try to write a little about everything. I should one day find my niche, one day. I figure, if I keep writing eventually it’ll come. Mostly I write to help inspire. This world can be a pretty damn scary place to live in. The hate crimes. The sexual violence. The bombings and shootings. I want to be able to shed some hope. Even just a sliver. Something to help someone take another step in their day. I started this blog in the hopes I could help change a dark and hatred filled world. I'm not exactly sure I'm actually doing it or not. But, I'm trying.
I also write to get the practice I need. Sometimes I’ll be sweet and awe inspiring. Other times I’ll show a bit of my true self with some dripping sarcasm and stupid humor. Then there are other times I just don’t make sense. Bear with me!
When you come across my page, please feel free to leave me comments - about anything. Open forum. Open door. Open, open, open. I like having discussions about feelings (ya right) and hearing opinions of others about what I write. And other times, it’s just nice to know that someone out there goes through some of the same things I do.
Thanks bunches in taking the time to stop on by! ~Pearls xoxo
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