I got sick again. I know, no surprise there. The hubby took me to the Old Spaghetti Factory for some dinner and I realized something was seriously wrong with my throat. It was on fire and I couldn’t swallow. Not even my ice cream could go down in all it’s glory. I told the hubby it was time to go to the doctor’s and off we went. 

You know one thing I hate about the doctors? Sometimes they think it’s funny to say something along the lines of, “Oh, ya, you’re sick.” Like, no flippin’ duh Doc! I know I’m sick, hence the reason I am here, in pain, asking you to fix me. The joke is really intended to make the patient more comfortable blushing away the pain. But, in reality it only makes me want to kick the doctor in the shin. Just in case you wanted to know.

All of that to say I was diagnosed with strep. I go my whole adulthood never having strep. And then boom! within a year I get it twice. Twice! Bloody hell. Thankfully, Urgent Care hooked me up with some steroids to bring down the swelling and some pretty strong antibiotics. But, when I went to pick my meds up something was seriously wrong. I got really nauseous and dizzy and told my husband we had to hele (hay-lay, meaning to go) out of Target because everything was coming back up.

This is where your mother was right.

I spent that dinner chewing as much as I could and swallowing as carefully as I could. Well, let me tell you – or at least tell my mom – she was right. When your mother tells you to chew your food properly, CHEW YOUR BLOODY FOOD PROPERLY. Listen, I thought I did. To be fair, I chewed better than I normally do because I literally couldn’t swallow (if you looked in my mouth I was so swollen the width of a spaghetti noodle was too wide). But, apparently my body really hates me and instead as I hung my head over my toilet bowl I realized the long piece of spaghetti noodle that was coming out of my mouth but still down my throat was not flippin’ chewed very well.

This PSA is just to remind you why chewing your food is important…

  1. So you don’t choke to death.
  2. So your spagehtti noodles can’t straddle state lines.
  3. So your tongue can do push ups and burn more calories.
  4.  So your date gets more quality time with you since you’re concentrating on small bites.
  5. So at the end of your meal you don’t feel like an Oompa Loompa.

Ok all bad jokes aside, obviously the graceful art of chewing your food is to ensure the large yummies get smaller for your body to digest. The smaller the amount of yummies swallowed the less stress you put on your esophagus. Especially when it decides to come back up. As you chew (with your mouth closed, people) your mouth also creates saliva which helps with the breakdown of said yummies. Proper food chewing also helps with weight as it helps you properly disgets your food. Proper chewing habits help you with less acid reflux (ha, maybe that’s my problem), allows you to help your body receive more nutrients, and everything tastes a little better.

After being unable to eat much during those three days I regret forgettubg one of the life lessons my mom taught me growing up…

40 chews.