April has come and gone so quickly I can barely believe it. I can still vividly see my little family dressed in matching blue and yellow for Easter. I can also vividly remember – or at least take notice – that I’ve not written an actual blog and posted it in a month. Thank goodness for drafts and rewrites.
This month, like the last three months before it, have been consumed with taking care of my little guy. The month has consisted of phone calls to doctors, doctor appointments, ER visits and a merry go round of sickness in my house. I am 100% pooped and anxiously awaiting my getaway for a few days within a weeks time. A time where I can sit back, listen and receive a word from God and just rejuvenate my mind, soul and body. A time, in essence, to rewrite the rest of the year.
The first third of the year has been trying. I’ve faltered in my writing – both blogging and my novel. I’ve started a lot of drafts. But, often times I begin those drafts in my head as I’m washing clothes, vacuuming, washing the dishes or tending to the little one. During those times I can’t just drop everything to pen my thoughts. I kid myself to think that I’ll remember these ideas when I do have a time. But, I don’t. I never do. Which, quite frankly, isn’t surprising because I have the worst memory ever.
All of that to say, April has taught me that even with unfinished business it’s never too late to pick things back up and try again. As I say that I hear the voice of my high school basketball coach, “Don’t try. Do.” Sometimes, life isn’t that simple. Life doesn’t just do. I wish, but not the case. Sometimes life gives you a bunch of different fruits because just giving you lemons would make it way too easy.
The saying, “If you fall seven times get up eight,” really is an encouraging quote. I’ve written 13 blog drafts. Some single sentences but most two or three paragraphs. While they sit in my draft box nestled neatly away I am reminded that all those entries are my get up eights. My reminder that as incredibly crazy as life has been these last few months I still have my life line. I still have the power to make things happen. I still have the strength to get up.
I’ll be completely honest and tell you that April was the month where I fought hard to not let my depression overtake my thoughts. I stayed in prayer. I talked about my feelings. I kept myself uncomfortable. I surrounded myself with people who wouldn’t bring me down. I sought encouragement. I allowed myself to be taken into other worlds through books. I was thankful for the little things. I did what I could to keep getting up. And isn’t that the most important thing? Sometimes we can’t just do – which is 100% okay. But, when we can’t do, we remember that getting up doesn’t always mean we conquered our demons, it just means, even if it was with help, you stood.
For the love of self I remembered that it’s never too late to start again.