The adage sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me is the worst saying ever. While sticks and stones will most definitely hurt me it’s the words that take the longest to heal. 

I call myself a Christian. I may not be the best Christian. God probably shakes His head at me saying, “Oh, Pearl” quite literally every single day. Here’s the thing though, I don’t claim to be the perfect Christian but at least I know that God would not be proud of me if I was to spend my time tearing down instead of building up.

 

Here is my issue…

Contrary to popular belief my head is not in fact up my ass. I agree I have made mistakes – some quite large. At that same time as a Chrisitan I know that what someone like me needs is someone to stand, in faith in God, as my strength while darkness encircles my life.

You can hate me for my forgetfulness. You can insinuate my actions are continuously destroying my marriage. You can be angry at me for hurting someone you love. But, let me get one thing straight, no one outside of my marriage, and I mean no one, knows fully who my husband and I have become together except for God and ourselves. We are not the same couple we were twelve years ago much less two. Because of how much we have changed as a couple, you cannot, in good faith, speak in regards to how either of us will react. I know this because you were wrong. You didn’t have to hate to be me when the forgetfulness had come to light because when it did we proved you wrong.

I’m venting for sure but here’s what I really want to say. No matter how dark and sad my life is right now I will never choose to rupture the feelings of another thinking it was done in good faith. I am not doing anyone any favors by doing so. It isn’t tough love. It isn’t helping the person. I choose not to manipulate my words in the hopes to make myself feel justified in verbally assaulting someone.

I want to change the world. In order to change the world I need to start with my own world. I have always said that I lead by example. I will do so today. While I understand my opinions, other people’s opinions matter, it is how I hold myself that leads to change. It is being fair and just and loving someone through their darkest most dishonorable mistakes, especially if I don’t agree with them. It is not my job to judge someone for their faults. My only job is to love and support them in the hopes that one day they will see that the mistakes in their lives do not define them. The mistakes in their lives only allow them to be molded into the change the world seeks.

So tonight, after my venting and my complaints, I want you to know that sticks and stones will break my bones but your words can no longer harm me.