I once read that women use rose colored glasses and men use blue colored glasses. The different lens shade signifies that men and women see, hear, understand, think and do things differently. This isn’t a sexist thing. Each sex is just made differently. As I sit here tonight finally winding down a busy day and preparing for my 15 year anniversary tomorrow, I can’t help but think of those colored glasses and how love is enough to bridge that gap.
If no one has told you yet, marriage is hard. It is a commitment. It is work. It is sacrifice. Even still, marriage is forgiveness, support, love and laughter. My marriage has been that and then some and then some over. Fifteen years ago tomorrow, in the parking lot of his granfather’s church, my husband asked me out. I knew it was going to happen. After all, my best friend is his cousin. But, I was still excited – no estactic. My friends and I still jumped up and down and screamed with joy. On July 10, 2001 saying yes to a single question gave me an adventure I have never regretted.
I have talked about my health – both mentally and physically. I’ve talked about my struggles with Sjogrens and PCOS. I’ve talked about my infertility issues and my depression. I have talked about loss, love, tears of joy and sadness. I’ve talked about how God brought me through it all. What I’ve not talked much about is how God gave me a partner, a soulmate, a friend, a confidant, a supporter, a man who with his undying love for me bridged the gap between God and I when I couldn’t do it on my own. A man who helped steer me to accept grace when all I saw was anger.
My husband is one of a kind. Now, I’m not saying he is perfect. He has his quirks like the rest of us. But, I am thankful for him because during the nights when my terrors haunt my dreams or when my acid reflux gets the best of me, he’s the one holding me tight and making sure I am okay. I am blessed to have him in my life because during my darkest hour when I shut the world out, when I shut him out, when I shut God out, he showed me tender and underserved love. When it was all about me he showered me with his love, he graced me with his love. And when he did it softened my heart. Even through our most trying hours his love was the grace of my life.
After 15 years he still can’t see through my rose colored glasses. But to prove to me that I was not unlovable and that love is enough, he takes all that makes be bad and loves me whether he understands it or not. When I do wrong, he forgives me and loves me even more. He takes all of my insecurities and turns it into something beautiful. His love for me is so strong and faithful and it still amazes me how he could love someone like me.
So, as today comes to a close and as tomorrow’s sun rises, Luga, I need you to know this. In a world of darkness, when I can’t seem to fathom why people choose to do the things they do I am thankful to have you as my husband by my side. Your faithful love pushing me to be all that I can be. When my heart aches for the hatred I see in the world and you shelter me in your arms, that is when I know I made the right choice 15 years ago. I know that our journey hasn’t been perfect, that it has been pretty darn rough. But, it is our journey. And I wouldn’t want to be on this journey with anyone but you.
Thank you for your love. Happy Anniversary. xoxo