How often do you put up a front in order to protect yourself or the people around you? I do that often. I put up a front so people don’t know how much something bothers me. Well, I sat down with a hot cup of tea to quench this unreasonable nausea that’s been here and there for the last week when I realized today was Monday. The day when family arrives in town and had it not been by chance we wouldn’t have been told. 

I guess none of this should surprise me but that doesn’t take away the fact that it hurt. I’m all about family. And it’s hard to know that sometimes your family are the very ones that break you. Then, of course, as always, I think of my family, or the lack of. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I do a great job together but sometimes I’d really love having a little one running around doing things I can’t figure out how they learned.

Tonight, as I watched the sunset on my drive home I poem started to bubble within. A cry of hope if you will. I hope you enjoy.

Unsettled Heart

The sun has begun to set
The stillness has come
Nightfall brings the darkness
The heart becoming numb
I look into the night
The stars illuminate the sky
I’m trying to lean on Your grace
Of Your love through the why’s
A star shoots across the horizon
I gaze at Orion’s Belt
I’m searching for Your mercy
To cover the heartache that I’ve felt
The stars shine and twinkle
As if hiding the perfect secret
Like the night, You hold me
The life of one so weakened
The chill in the night wrapping me
Trying to discourage my walk
Lord, get me through the night
I know we’ve had this talk
The moon is shining brightly
Like the hint of light on broken glass
As the sun begins to rise
The sadness You unmask
I’m determined I refuse
To be discouraged with fear
I’m desperate for You
Lord draw me near
The thoughts in my heart
Are unsettling at best
I long for more to this
God, I’m such a mess
Still my heart’s thumping
Calm my weary soul
Help me to lean on You
Let me give You control
Turn my night into day
Happiness from disgrace
Settle my heart and mind
Give me peace and grace
While the sun begins to set
And gives into the night
Lord comfort my ache
In Your tender arms tonight

May you find peace in your heartache today and always. xoxo