It’s no secret I’m not too fond of the way my body looks. I can point the finger as far as the reasonings to it. But, ultimately, it’s up to me to conquer those stupid thoughts and I embarked on a mission to do that.
I first started with a diet I felt I could actually do and not hate myself on. My husband calls it the Body Builders Diet. I call it the Egg Diet. It is essentially two weeks of eating certain foods in order to lose some pounds. There are all kinds of things on the world wide web that you can find about this diet.
By day three I realized something. If I want an overhaul on my life I needed to not just touch food. I needed to do everything else. By the end of the week I was sick and there was no way I could go on with the diet. So I broke it. And sought for something else.
In came actually taking advantage of benefits. I hooked up with a nutritionist, a fitness coach, and a doctor that was willing to help me shed some pounds and be a little healthier. I received a kit that would assist me. I had an app that allowed me to track my calories, activity, measurements and keep me connected to a group of people doing what I’m doing.
On the first day I did the measurements that was required. I almost cried. This has been the heaviest I’ve been in my life. I needed a change. So, I vowed to kick as much sugar out of my diet as possible. #GoodbyeSnickers I also vowed to keep moving. I set a goal of 10,000 steps a day and some kind of exercise at least three times a week.
I started on 9/1. In one month I lost 8 pounds without going crazy, learning and understanding what I put in my body matters, and finding exercises that catered to my health issues. I’ve not felt this good in a long time.
While physically I’m striving to be happier through this last month I have also realized something. Even with the healthier eating and exercising I can’t have a better self-image unless I was happy all around with my life. That meant allowing myself to be loved by family and friends without a wall up. That meant thinking in a more positive manner. That meant surrounding myself with people who support and believe in me. That meant being okay to vulnerability and trusting my heart.
I have talked about both before, encouraging people to love themselves. I’ve talked about how I needed to work on it. This month was all about that. It was loving myself physically, mentally and emotionally. It was about remembering that I’m human, I will have good and bad days and thats okay. It was about remember that on the bad days it doesn’t make me a bad person, rather it gives me room for growth and to practice my faith.
This month, I have firmly laid out a foundation where I realize that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And, I think that was the missing link. The idea that I have to look a certain way based off of what society says I need to look like was only hindering opening up my heart in loving myself. Instead, with encouragement I embarked to love myself in all ways.
It hasn’t been as easy as I make it sound. During a certain week I craved ice cream so bad I wanted to cry. Another week I wasn’t physically able to work out. And a few scattered days in the month things were so busy I just wanted to have popcorn at my table to keep me company. But, I kept remembering what it says in the Bible: I am who He says I am. This journey for me isn’t about looking good on the outside. It’s about feeling good on the inside and knowing all that I am – the good, the bad, the ugly – God knows all of it and still says, “Pearl, I choose you.” And I’ve come to realize when I accept that, even when I don’t understand it, it is the greatest self-loving action I can do.
This month, for the love of self I learned how to strengthen my self love. xoxo