I have lived in many different places growing up. I think I averaged a new school for each grade. It was okay though because no matter where I was I made the best of it. I can’t tell you how many friends I have made along the way much of which I still keep in contact with. I’ve considered places like Lake City, WA and Meridian, ID my home. Now, to me home is just where you fit in and belong. It isn’t necessarily a location but a place where you can sit back and everything just makes sense for you.
It has been a while since I have felt a place I can call home. I’ve lived in Portland, OR for a few years now, and while at first it was a horrible transition from the country life that I was used to Portland has become a place of familiarity. I have found places to go that calm me. Like the river, as oddly as it sounds since it is not my Pacific Ocean, the calm of the little waves soothes me. Every part of the river does that. From watching the boats cross, the ripples hitting the pebbled shore, and the water baxters cruising the docks, it brings me serenity. The sounds of the river engulfs my heart and comforts me. The river is the closest thing to home.
When I decided to cross the river and enter Vancouver, WA I had to find another place that would do the same for me. Music became a heavy part of my life. Songs suddenly spoke to me and understood the feelings of my heart. It was as if the artists were singing to me the exact feelings of everything that has ever happened in my life, to the darkest places, to the happiest places. The music has become a part of me, every bit of me that without the music I couldn’t push through what I have already pushed through and what I need to push through now. The music has kept me grounded, balanced, and has showed me the good in my heart when nothing else did.
Life hits you in so many different ways that it’s scary to find out where you actually belong. Who you belong with. Life gets so busy that you realize that you may not always end up where you thought you were going, but you will always end up where you belong. I hope that I get the courage to meet my river, to listen to my music and find what home means to me. The idea of being happy in my own skin thrills me but frightens me at the same time. I have never once been comfortable in my own skin. But, the river and my music does that for me. I hope that you will find that same courage because you deserve the same happiness. We all do. I hope you find love and happiness. Find the appreciation you deserve and the respect you need. I hope you can be comfortable in your skin, to love yourself, to find home. Above all else, to find home. To be able to sit back and everything makes sense to you.
Tutto il mio amore.
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