When I was a little girl I was fortunate to be able to watch a fuzzy black worm through its life. I got to see it inch it’s way through leaves and grass and dirt. I got to see it spin little silk balls as it became comfortable in its own habitat. The butterfly isn’t the cutest or prettiest thing to see but I watched it nonetheless as it transformed into a worm, a cocoon and finally into a beautiful butterfly. They don’t seem to worry about the changes, rather they embrace it.
I am, however, not a caterpillar.
My Gramps always said that change is good, promising instead that it built character. He said we should never hate it as change is hard but in the end it was worth it. As a teenager I inwardly scoffed at the idea. Of course I would tell him he was right and change was good. Of course I would tell him I could handle change because he had faith in me. I never told him I hated change, but I suspect he knew. Gramps seemed to always know how my heart felt. He once told me that when I allow God to change me a transformation happens that opens up my life to opportunities.
As a teenager I understood that in order to grow change was needed. In order for God to transform me into the person I needed to be I needed to accept the changes that always seemed to come front and center in my life. But, that doesn’t mean I wanted them. Gramps would say people were always focused so much on what we were losing, what we needed to sacrifice in order to gain that we fought to let change happen. After nearly two years of his passing, I can still hear him say, “Gem, God is working in you. Don’t fight the change.”
As an adult I can’t tell you that I like change. But, I have learned to embrace it more, well mostly. Well, after a few times of me mentally screaming no and begging God to find an easier way to have things work out. After my childlike fit I embrace change because I know the transformation from old to new will be beautiful. I’m tired of fighting. Unlike what is normal, I am seeking a change. A change from being a fuzzy caterpillar to something beautiful. I am seeking change to better my circumstance, my mind, my body, my soul. I am giving myself the opportunity to do that. I have let go of what has been holding me back and fulfull everything I have ever wanted to be.
I went home early from work today because I needed change. I needed to wrap myself in my safety net to be able to feel the energy that will become the greatest opportunity in front of me. I needed to be willing to shed the negative layers that I still carry to start a new beginning. After a nap, a banana, and a short convo with a friend telling me I am on the right path, I was reminded of what I want to do. I am lining up my wheels on the tarmac. I am checking off the preflight checklist. I am waiting for my heart to say all systems go. And when it does, I’ll run and launch myself off the branch on an amazing adventure to see the world. All because I gave myself the opportunity to do so.
Now it’s your turn. I know where I want to go. I may not necessarily know how to get there. I know I want to start the beginning of forever. And I am giving myself the freedom, the opportunity, the right to do just that. You should too.
Give yourself the opportunity to trust the start of new beginnings. xoxo
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