I received a call from a friend I haven’t spoken to in a bit. This friend was distraught at circumstances surrounding them and their special friend. Well, my dear friend, all isn’t lost. I promise. What you are feeling will eventually pass. It may not feel that way, but someday you will look back at this time and understand that lessons have been learned and you have become something more amazing because of it. You don’t need someone to validate your existence.

I’ll move on baby just like you
When the desert floods and the grass turns blue
When a sailing ship don’t need her moon
It’ll break my heart but I’ll get through
Someday when I stop loving you

Right now, you may think that watching him walk away will kill you. That you can never go on without his love. I promise you you will. The nights you spent hanging out on the balcony sharing your future, dreams and hopes wasn’t for naught. It taught you to dream and understand that all things are possible. Those nights where you sat drinking coffee and laughed at the little houses and green solutions taught you your passions. There was a reason for those nights and you will move on. You may think you will never stop loving him, and that’s ok. Love isn’t conditional. Just because you aren’t together doesn’t mean he didn’t matter. You may always have a place for him in your heart. That is the beauty of love. But, that doesn’t mean he gets to dictate the rest of your life. Especially if you have chosen to not have him a part of it.

I bet all I had on a thing called love
Guess in the end it wasn’t enough
And it’s hard to watch you leave right now
I’m gonna have to learn to let you go somehow
Somehow I’ll move on baby just like you
When the desert floods and the grass turns blue
When a sailing ship don’t need her moon
It’ll break my heart but I’ll get through
Someday when I stop loving you

You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you. If you can love the wrong someone so much, imagine the love you will have for the right one. Love happens mysteriously and we fall in love in so many ways but it should never be on your expense. It should never be a love that is secretive or dangles because he won’t commit. If he refuses to commit you deserve better.

He’s going to be sorry for losing you because you are an absolutely amazing person. So stop worrying. Stop worrying about how he is. Stop worrying about how his family is. Stop worrying about who is there to support him and if he is alone. Stop worrying about him picking himself up. Forget the past, forget the pain, and remember what an incredible woman you are. He lost you, not the other way around. What he did hurt you and he knew before even doing it that it would. He was told it would cost him you, and he still did it.

One foot on the bus, ’bout half past nine
I knew that you were leavin’ this time
I thought about layin’ down in it’s path
Thinking that you might get off for that

So, don’t. Don’t think it was your fault – even if you may have said things you shouldn’t have. Don’t blame it all on you. Don’t think of the what ifs. Don’t hold your heart hostage at the lost of your love. Don’t disallow yourself happiness because he was an idiot. Don’t stop laughing and singing because you did it with him.

The truth of the matter is you shouldn’t have to rip yourself in pieces to make someone whole. You gave him everything, offered him your love and life. He refused it and when you began to walk away he broke the bridge by doing what he did. You deserve so much better, and with friends that you have, you will move on. Even when you don’t think you will. And someday you will be able to stop loving him as you do and open your heart to a love that was meant to be. You can do this. This heartbreak is temporary. I promise. Someday all of this will have been worth living through.