As of 9a this past Friday morning we started the journey we long have waited for. Friday morning we sat at a table, with others on the same path as us, learning how to be “caregivers.” And tonight we will continue this adventure as we listen to the pros and cons of what is in store for us.
This journey is none we have ever been on and so I want to find a way to remember it. I’ve seen on Pinterest the idea of writing a letter to your child every year on their birthday. Given the path we are walking, I wanted to do something similar. Instead of their birthday, I wanted to document our feelings through the process to be able to share with our little one the journey we chose to love him or her.
Dear Little One,
We have spent years waiting for you. And let me tell you, you are well worth the wait. Today we continued the journey to be able to call you ours. We don’t know when that will be, or when we will first lay eyes on you. We don’t know when we will get to hold you in our arms. We don’t know when you’ll get to make our home your forever home. But, sweet child, we are excited for the day.
Here is a secret little one, at first I didn’t want to foster – or adopt – but your daddy did. I was afraid of the possibility of losing you. We have already lost so many little ones before you. I couldn’t fathom yet another loss. But, then we were reminded that foster care meant that our pain of a great loss meant a child could receive the gain of our great love. What greater love could we show then to love you with our hearts even if that meant we would have to let you go?
As we await your arrival this is what we do know:
Love knows no boundaries. You may not be flesh of our bones but you are of our heart. Though we will be new parents there is one thing that will not lack in our home – love. You will be loved as if you were our own, because you are. I will be called mama even though I have not birthed you. Trust me, little one, the significance of such an honor has not been lost on me. We love you because the entire cosmos colluded in bringing us together.
You weren’t our second choice. I will make sure that every day you wake up you realize that. Just because we were not blessed with a child of our own does not mean that you were our next option. God made me a promise a long time ago. He promised that I would get to be a mother. I didn’t ask how, or when. I just asked that it be. And through every stage of our lives God guided us to this very time where we get to anticipate the joys of holding you in our arms. May you always feel and know that you were wished for, prayed for. You were always wanted.
Just because we look different doesn’t mean we aren’t family. We got to choose our family and we chose you. Families, my darling, need not match. You don’t have to look alike to be loved, to be a family. Don’t ever think of us as your foster family. Or your adopted family. In Hawaii we learned that family is family. It doesn’t matter who we start with, or end with. In our home its all about the blended beginnings, the harmonizing laughter, and the mixed matched love.
This is the start of your sweet little story. This is the part where your pages get to meet ours. This is the part where your roots intertwine with ours. This is the part where we hold your hand and share in the ups and downs of life together. How incredibly lucky we are to be able to welcome you into our home. Know, my sweet child, that no matter where your tale will take you, today our story will always read love.
To the moon and back,
Mama and Daddy